Tara, Rolfe’s secretary sent this to Dan so I stole it.
The way Rolfe is explaining the broken arm to the folks at the business report. thought y’all’d enjoy it:
Top 10 Explanations for the Broken Arm:
10. Chronic Blackberry overuse weakened the bones, and when the flight reached altitude of 35,000 feet it spontaneously fractured.
9. Snapped during a safari tour by a local Swazilander who kept hitting him in the arm in the exact same spot repeatedly and asking ‘Huh? Tigaz! Huh? Lions! Huh? Rhinocerous! Huh?’
8. Attacked by a crocodile after getting too close and taunting, “Tiger bait! Tiger bait!”
7. It was crushed when cargo shifted on the plane – apparently he stacked too many boxes of “Our Way” leaflets to distribute to villagers.
6. Tussled with local activists after suggesting he could do a better job running their believeInSwaziland.org web site.
5. Let’s just say the McCollister driving style is not as effective when weaving through hundreds of pedestrians and hippos.
4. Tried to take his signature ‘Moon Walk’ to another level by walking on his hands.
3. Broke it after he triggered a brawl when he offered local tribal chiefton an ill-advised food offering of his mom’s homemade “White Trash."
2. It’s not actually broken—it’s merely a so-called “Mule cast” to conceal contraband.
And the number 1 explanation:
Tara, astounded he somehow managed to get his Blackberry to work from the jungle, hired a Swazi warrior hit man to “please, for the love of all that is good, break his Blackberry hand.”
